At this rate, if nothing thrown at the Hulk's direction could even manage to make him pause to scratch his nose for a second, it certainly won't be much of a surprise as an expectation to see Lord Dracula get his face pummeled in in the conclusion of the third issue.
With the combined mental effort from Lord Dracula and company, they have now brought themselves up to speed as to whatever they're dealing with, while Nul: the Breaker of Worlds or formerly the Incredible Hulk goes on a rampage through the monster forces put up against him in an attempt to drag him down even for a moment, which at this point would now seem only to end in futility. If that's not done in good sense, then neither is sending a team of vampire outcasts known as the Forgiven out there to deal with the hammer-wielding atrocity while their leader remains within the abode of Lord Dracula, trying to seek out a weakness in the Hulk, anything in order to stop it once and for all. Well, not that long as we're speaking of the Hulk here.
At this rate, if nothing thrown at the Hulk's direction could even manage to make him pause to scratch his nose for a second, it certainly won't be much of a surprise as an expectation to see Lord Dracula get his face pummeled in in the conclusion of the third issue.
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Apparently getting thrown into the vacuum of space eternal by a Norse Thunder God in a hammer fight does not seem to be impeding in any way the Hulk's progress in causing as much destruction as possible. With the Hulk landing on Dracula's Romanian domain, resuming much put off course on property damage and spreading of fear among the population, the lord of vampires is now forced to take matters into his own non-hammer-wielding hands, which isn't all that much fun as it would sound at first. Preliminary staking out, attending to the intrusion of outcasts never do. So we've got one monster smackdown to make things a little more cinematic. Wheee.
This is where it all started, the moment Deadpool embarked on a seemingly impossible quest to kill himself. From the cover it wouldn't be painstaking to figure out through what means he'd go to that end. Yes, it's the Incredible Hulk down to Bruce Banner's self restraint. It's the unstoppable force against an unkillable target, as Deadpool went to great pains in order that the Hulk might be motivated enough to grind him to a subatomic pulp with his bare hands. A lot of incendiary fun, mind numbingly amplified Tom-And-Jerry action and then there's this:
Now, it's not in the order of any proper gentleman to mistreat a proper lady, though when both protagonists of a story fall short by vast degrees from any conception of the word, anything could happen really. Recently (well, not so much; considering this issue was published probably months ago) Deadpool escaped from a mental institution set in England, though freedom flicks back up into the air the way a not so professional angler does with a still baited hook from the water when he was forced to confront Dr Ella Whitby, who in fact aided in springing Deadpool out from said asylum in the first place. What was once a clinical fascination of the warped mercenary now evolved into an equally warped sense of love for him. Now Deadpool's main priority is to get out of England before the doctor could do anything worse to him, and get on with things put off during his incarceration such as dying.
Well, it's Deadpool, toned down so to speak with the usual elements of the character that is excessive bloodshed, self mutilation, etc. In fact, such elements seemed to have dried down since the day he was institutionalized, and he's still trying to get himself killed to the extent that there is no way his exceptional healing factor could bring him back to one piece. Other than roughhousing the British secret service and keeping the Queen hostage, the issue's pretty dry. Mystery Men #3 brings in two new characters to the Mystery Men as shown above: The Surgeon, who reminds me of Darkman, what with being burned alive by an angry mob and the mummified look; and Achilles, the Greek hero reborn to the sword and shield in the body of Professor Green, aided by said mystical amulet. Which would have taken on the fullest of its effect had it not been the average-joe-in-jumper look. Both bearing a hatred toward the General for robbing them of the things they had cherished before becoming what they were, both bent on vengeance upon the man.
Obviously the issue's attempt to cover so much ground sacrificed much of the existing Mystery Men's time on the pages. A little too rushed on the writer's part. The issue's ending made little sense from whatever was let on at this point. Shoddily put would have been my definition of the issue. The heroes of Earth are powered up and ready to face the impending hammer-wielding threat, all thanks to Tony Stark's revamping ordnance in Asgardian material. The question remains: will it be enough to stop the advancing forces of the Serpent? On one side we have already unstoppable powerhouses such as the Hulk and Juggernaut, at the moment physically and magically amplified, whereas on the other side we have Spider-man wielding what appears to be a pair of blades, possibly out of Uru, and Hawkeye. Well, the odds are definitely still stacked against them, despite the fancy makeover, so good luck to them or be razed to the ground.
Here at the Avengers Academy you'll be provided a solid foundation to becoming a true avenger, so to speak. Or is it perhaps a reform center for delinquent super-powered individuals once abused by the slightly twisted man known as Norman Osborn during the man's reign as director of HAMMER? The current roster of the Academy surely have their doubts on this matter. Name: Finesse. Abilities: Polymath, capable of absorbing learning at an accelerated rate simply by studying the concerned subject. Unable to empathize or comprehend in the way of people. Thinks the Taskmaster is her genetic father, who possesses the same abilities as hers. Presently under the tutelage of Quicksilver in becoming the next Magneto. Annoying. Name: Veil. Abilities: Capable of dissociating into any desired species of gaseous matter. Presently running the risk of dissociating permanently. Eager to prevent said fate from befalling unto herself by appeasing to those with the slightest hint of potential as to aiding in her predicament, most of the time screwing things up badly. Holds a crush on one of her tutors, Justice. Name: Mettle. Abilities: Grotesque cross between Colossus and the Red Hulk. Ex-surfer. Presently in something of a relationship to Hazmat, seemingly the only person willing enough to be on the same bed with the metal abomination. Name: Hazmat. Abilities: Projects radioactive blasts. Female pubescent counterpart of the Radioactive Man. Confined indefinitely to a Hazmat suit to avoid being a health risk to others in public, with Mettle being the unique exception. Presently in something of a relationship with the latter. Name: Reptil: Abilities: Capable of transforming parts of the body into that of a dinosaur with the aid of a magical prehistoric gem embedded into his chest before, now able to transform completely into one after the events of Korvac. Was briefly engaged in a relationship with Finesse. Leader of the Academy struggling to maintain authority. Name: Striker. Abilities: Living generator. Attention whore, the standing result of bad parenting. Experienced an extremely palpable death through the chest of his future self during the clash against Korvac the somewhat omnipotent. With a motley team of super-powered teenagers perched rather dangerously on a tightrope between good and evil comes a motley team of superheroes led by Henry Pym or better known as Giant Man, who still had yet to come to terms with the death of his wife, Janet Pym or better known as the Wasp. Justice, Quicksilver, Speedball, Tygra, each too had their own problems to deal with, which only serve to complicate further matters and more importantly the whole point of the Academy. There are certainly suitable candidates for the job, such as Steve Rogers or Iron Man, though where's the entertainment to it?
Expect lots of teenage angst, in depth analysis of the main characters as they stumble one step at a time on the way to their respective fates. A moderately entertaining read. A few things you probably don't know about one of the comic book industrial giants in existence. Good for you if you do.
Also, there are far worse things than Spider-man out there. A depressing emulation of Tony Stark's briefcase armor. Instead of the actual briefcase, it looks more on the lines of the suit crumpled up like a tin can in the first place, before assuming the impression that it had been freshly mauled by Whiplash's laser whips after being unfolded across the man's body, who apparently needs an extra hand in pulling it up, thereby making the suit no more unwieldy than a medieval chain mail, maybe even more. I commend him for the effort though.
An intricate display of relationships spread diverse throughout the Marvel Universe, from the Avengers and X-men to the lowest of villains, evidence that multiple affairs are not necessarily confined within the borders of reality. Take a look at Wolverine, branching out the most among the super-powered womenfolk, and the man's personality is not necessarily sparkling. Feral not only in combat, apparently toward the opposite sex as well, which may seem to be doubly in line with Wolverine's catchphrase:
'I'm the best there is at what I do, and what I do isn't very nice.' Well, on those lines. |